Most Recent Blog Posts
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Strange State: Mysteries and L Strange State: Mysteries and Legends of Oklahoma
- From: cullanh
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- Blog post
- 1 week ago
- Views: 7
- Not yet rated
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sending photo to rise and shin sending photo to rise and shine
- From: ykennedy
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How do I attach and send photo to rise and shine? Wanted to put a b-day pic.
- Blog post
- 2 weeks ago
- Views: 9
- Not yet rated
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On A Lighter Note On A Lighter Note
- From: Cause_I_Said_So
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On A Lighter Note
© 2007 Jack Watson
All Rights Reserved
I went grocery shopping recently while not being altogether sure that said course of action was a wise one. You see, the previous evening I had prepared and consumed a massive quantity of my patented "You're definitely going to crap yourself" chili. It’s tasty stuff, albeit hot to the point of being painful, and comes with a written guarantee from me that if you eat it, the next day both of your butt cheeks are liable fall off.
Here's the thing. I had awakened that morning and even after two cups of coffee (and all of you know what I mean) nothing happened. No "Watson's Movement #2". Despite habanera peppers swimming their way through my intestinal tract, I appeared to be unable to create the usual morning symphony referred to by my next door neighbors as thunder and lightning.
Knowing that a time of reckoning had to come yet not sure of when, I bravely set off for the market; a local Wal-Mart grocery store that I often haunt in search of tasty tidbits.
Upon entering the store at first all seemed normal. I selected a cart and began pushing it about as usual dropping items in for purchase. It wasn't until I was at the opposite end of the store from the restrooms that the pain hit me. Oh, don't look at me like you have no idea what I'm talking about. I'm referring to that "Uh oh, gotta go" pain that always seems to hit at the wrong time. The thing is this pain was different.
The habaneras in the chili from the night before were staging a revolt. In a mad rush for freedom they bullied their way through the small intestines, forcing their way into the large intestines, and before I could take one step in the direction of the restrooms which would bring sweet relief it happened. The peppers fired a warning shot.
There I stood, alone in the spice and baking aisle, suddenly enveloped in a noxious cloud the likes of which has never before been recorded. I was afraid to move for fear that more of this vile odor might escape me, but slowly, oh so slowly, the pressure seemed to leave the lower part of my body, and I began to move up the aisle and out of it just as an elderly woman turned into it.
I don't know what made me do it, but I stopped to see what her reaction would be to the malodorous effluvium that refused to dissipate, as she walked into it unsuspecting. Have you ever been torn in two different directions emotionally? Here's what I mean, and I'm sure some at least of you will be able to relate. I wanted to warn her yet sensed what was about to happen was going to be a real gas; no pun intended….okay maybe a little intended.
That poor woman walked into an invisible and apparently indestructible wall of odor so terrible that at first she just stopped like a deer caught in headlights. All she seemed able to do before gathering her senses and running was to stand there making a gagging noise deep in her throat, blink rapidly, and wave her arms about her head as though trying to ward off angry bees. This of course made me feel terrible, but then made me laugh. Big mistake.
Here's the thing. When you laugh it's hard to keep stuff "clamped down", if you get my drift. With each new guffaw increasingly louder explosive issues burst forth from my nether region. Some were so loud and echoing that I was later told a few folks in other aisles had ducked and ran fearing someone was robbing the store and firing off a shotgun.
The suddenly things were no longer funny. It was coming and I raced off through the store towards the restrooms laying down a cloud the whole way, praying that I'd make it before the grand mal arseplosion took place.
Luck was on my side. Just in the nick of time I got to the crapper and began the inevitable floating above the toilet seat because my cheeks are burning so bad purging. One poor fellow walked in while I was in the middle of what is the true meaning of "Shock and Awe". He made a gagging sound, disgustedly said "Oh my God!", then quickly left no doubt fearing that the odor might permanently burn its way into his skin.
Once having finished evicting what could accurately be described as pure Hell from my now tortured posterior I left the restroom and reacquired my partially filled cart intending to carry on with my shopping. It was at this point in the still unfolding saga when a store employee approached me and said, "Sir, you might want to step outside for a few minutes. It appears some prankster set off a stink bomb in the store. The manager is going to run the ceiling exhaust fans on high for a minute or two which ought to take care of the problem."
That of course set me off again, allowing residual gases to make their way to freedom. The employee took one sniff, jumped back pulling his shirt up to cover his nose and pointing at me in an accusing manner shouted "IT'S YOU!", then ran off returning moments later with the manager. Shortly thereafter I was unceremoniously escorted from the premises and asked none too kindly to shop elsewhere in the future. I’m told I have since been branded as a health violation with a shoot on sight order from the Walmart corporation.
After the incident once home again without having shopped, I realized that there was nothing to eat but leftover chili so I consumed two more bowls and a couple of boiled eggs. The next day I went to shop at Albertson's. I can't say anymore about that because we are in court over the whole matter. Those drama queens claim they're going to have to burn that store down and build another in it‘s place……
- Blog post
- 4 months ago
- Views: 36
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On stuck 4-wheelers On stuck 4-wheelers
- From: 1969_Corona
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Description:
Lilfeather's blog titled "Stuck 4-wheelers" reminds me that in the late 1960s, when they were building all those ugly new housing developments north of OKC proper, a friend's dad took me and my friend for a ride in his brand-new Jeep. He drove us into a huge pit that I think later became a man-made pond (mosquito heaven). The ride was great, as long as it lasted.
The minute we hit bottom, we were stuck.
I don't recall how we got out of there--I think one of the tractors in the pit pulled us out--but later on my friend and I were riding in the back of her father's convertible, sitting on the tops of the seats and waving at everybody like we were beauty queens. These were the days before seat belts, and there was no law preventing little girls from riding that way. We sat smiling with the wind full in our faces, loving the novelty of it all, while my friend's dad cracked jokes about driving two such pretty girls around the city. You have to admire a guy who goes from one wild adventure to another just to amuse the children. This was a man who never said die. And neither did we. We loved every minute of it.
I feel sorry for kids nowadays who have to "click it or ticket," who can't ride in the bed of a pickup truck, or in a Jeep just hanging onto the rollbar, or on the back of a convertible hollering, "Look, Ma, no hands!" Maybe the kids are safer for it, but as Mike Leach famously said, "Well, you're going to be dead in a hundred years anyway. Live dangerously."
- Blog post
- 4 months ago
- Views: 31
- Not yet rated
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Black Coffee Black Coffee
- From: 1969_Corona
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Description:
When I was in college, I drank coffee all day long, and when the sun went down, I switched to whatever alcohol was at hand. That's probably why I'm a little crazy now.
Recently, on my doctor's advice, I gave up alcohol. It sure feels good to wake up in the morning, but at night, I'm still jonesing for that liquid nightcap...or two...or three...or the whole bottle.
Despite these cravings, I have remained sober. I don't attend AA because I have been there, done that, and have a few Big Books to prove it. I know what I'm supposed to do. But I have to resist the urge to fill that empty space with loads of food, so I have turned once again to my old college friend.
Yes. Black coffee.
Back then, I was poor and could only afford instant Taster's Choice. It wasn't great, but I wasn't picky. I filled a thermos with that every morning and took it to school, where I consumed most of it at my job between classes: tutoring at the old OU Writing Lab. Between tutoring sessions, my fellow tutors liked to sneak up behind me to see how far I'd jump. We were a fun bunch.
Twenty-five years and thousands of cups later, I grind my own beans and brew my own coffee with filtered water in a fine coffeemaker. It's been said that I make the best coffee anyone ever had, but I think the people who told me that were just being polite. Then again, I drank some of my brewed coffee that I had saved in the refrigerator cold, straight out of the carafe, and it was damned good, even ice-cold, with no sugar or cream at all.
So, that's how I am drinking my black coffee this spring: ice-cold. With the warm weather coming, it's going to work out just fine.
"Is this a great state, or what?"
(ANSWER: Or what.)
- Blog post
- 4 months ago
- Views: 20
- Not yet rated
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stuck 4-wheelers stuck 4-wheelers
- From: lilfeather
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Description:
My husband and I found out 4wheelers don't go everywhere. We have 2 stuck in mud so deep it going to take a trackert to pull them out.
- Blog post
- 6 months ago
- Views: 37
- Not yet rated
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re: I Miss Analog TV re: I Miss Analog TV
- From: JAM43
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I agree with the blog that 1969 Corona posted about the converter boxes. We, too, endured the 2007 ice storm that hit Oklahoma and we were without power, cable, and phone for 9 days and it was mighty nice to be able to at least view news and weather on our little battery powered tv we had purchased for just such an emergency. Although we did not lose power with this recent January 2010 storm, thousands of people did lose power, and endured worse conditions for an even longer period of time. I wonder how many of them had previously purchased, what is now a completely and utterly useless piece of junk, a little battery powered tv thinking it could be very useful in such an emergency.
Staying on the subject, I must now vent a bit about these despicable converter boxes in regard to their impact on the people who do not have cable and cannot afford to get cable, or cable is not available in their area:
The converter box can be turned on and off with it's hand-held remote control, pretty much the same as a television can with it's hand-held remote control...but the converter box must be connected to a special external antenna that requires repeated and painstaking manual adjustment and a complicated multi-step procedure of channel searching every time you try to view any channel that SHOULD be available in the area...and, o yes, the special antenna is NOT included with the converter box, it must be purchased and installed separately and it is NOT inexpensive.
I have a 90 year old friend who became so frustrated she gave up trying to watch tv at all after a month of dealing with with the converter box and not being able to tune in and watch even a public television station that she WAS able to get decent reception of even with virtually no antenna BEFORE the "changeover".
I wonder just how many people are happy with their converter boxes now.
- Blog post
- 7 months ago
- Views: 27
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I Miss Analog TV I Miss Analog TV
- From: 1969_Corona
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Description:
During the Great Ice Storm of 2007, we lost power at our house for three very cold, very bleak days. Our only connection to civilization was a portable radio and a battery-powered TV, which kept us in touch with our local stations.
Then came THE SWITCH. Everyone had to apply for two credit cards that helped pay for two converter boxes (not enough to actually pay for them COMPLETELY, mind you) so that you could still receive your local stations on your analog TVs after THE SWITCH. Allegedly. I've heard that a lot of these converter boxes were worthless. Cox Cable urged people to subscribe so that their service would be uninterrupted.
Oh, good! We get to PAY for something we used to get for FREE!
Now, we already had Cox Cable to begin with, but during a power outage, along with the electricity goes the cable, and where does that leave us? I look at my little battery-powered TV that has been rendered obsolete, and I want to cry.
Incidentally, all you Cox telephone subscribers need to know this: Your phone will not work during a power outage any more than your television will. We found this out when our good old landline phone continued to work and our neighbors' Cox telephone STOPPED working. I also learned via the radio that when the power goes out, cell phone towers have to operate on batteries, and after a couple of days, they stop working, effectively cutting off your cell phone from the world.
KEEP YOUR LANDLINE AT ALL COSTS. DO NOT SUBSCRIBE SOLELY TO CABLE/DIGITAL TELEPHONE COMPANIES.
Why did everybody tacitly agree to this digital nonsense? For the record, I was always against THE SWITCH because I did my homework, and prior experience told me that if you go digital, you risk losing your phone and your TV signal in the event of an emergency. I asked the FCC if these converter boxes could be battery-powered, and the FCC said that technology does not exist. There is no such thing as a battery-powered digital television.
How many of us ACTUALLY HAVE a flat-screen TV, or even the money to afford one? Moreover, if you do have one of those, how much good did it do you if you lost power during the Great Ice Storm of 2010? Were your little converter boxes useful to you?
In the future, I understand that some entities want to make AM stations go digital. AM radio is the last bastion of free communication with the world, and at night, I can pick up stations all over the USA, esecially on cold winter nights. While AM radio may seem to consist primarily of right-wing programs, Spanish music stations and "Coast to Coast AM with George Noory," there are other AM stations that actually have interesting shows, good music and decent announcers.
I like AM radio the way it is. If we lose it to digital radio, we will be losing one of the last wild and free areas of the airwaves.
Somebody out there is taking away our right to free communications, piece by piece. One day, I predict, the lights are going to go out for good, and we will all be left in the dark with no telephone, no radio, and no television. Once that happens, we will have no way of knowing what the rest of the world is doing. And that prospect scares me to death.
- Blog post
- 7 months ago
- Views: 31
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nice guy with wild side nice guy with wild side
- From: buzzsaw76
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good guy
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 11
- Not yet rated
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Grumpin' AFK Grumpin' AFK
- From: GrumpyGus
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Description:
I have been away from the Blogs... All that Winter weather in December started my hibernation cycle. Never poke a sleeping Grump!
While scrolling through my Faves.. I came across this lost gem.
I can't get the song out of my head. Or Maybe it's the Girls? No Grumping here. I Love The Guild. Season three just releqased on DVD. OK, I game... COD, LOTR, WOW, Evony and more.
http://www.watchtheguild.com/news/
Thanks for all of you who have become fans... Gus will be Grumpin' again soon... Pat Robertson & Haiti?
I came, I saw, I Grumped!
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 14
- Not yet rated
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The phone...... The phone......
- From: lilmissmisty
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Description:
Well little Miss C "14yr old" got her first ever cell phone. She has gotten really good at texting maybe too good. She has already blown thew 30min BUT I must admit they are quite interesting texts. I got one from her while she was on the bus telling me that her brother was being an "adiot".I am sure she ment idiot. While her step dad got one that said "Happy Smiley Bubbly Day" she claims that one was supposed to go to someone else. She has texted so far every family member she has loaded in her phone. I am glad she is excited even though she has already had it taken away for behavior. It is sitting in my room right now until I decide she can have it back. Darn kids when you ask if you can have somthing and I say NO that does not mean you try to sneak it!
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 21
- Not yet rated
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The insanity of it all.... The insanity of it all....
- From: lilmissmisty
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Description:
Well I am the mother of 4 great kids "most of the time" 14,12,12 and 9. Life has been somewhat of a rollercoaster over the years. I have days where I just would like to either pick a new name "somthing other than mom" or hide in the bathroom and lock the door "wich I have in fact done". Any mother though that claims otherwise is either certifiably insane or just full of hooey. Even though at times we as mother may get to where we feel so overlaoded it's those silly goofy times that make it all worth while. My oldest has been having to climb up hills all her life. She has some medical issues that has not made life very easy. She does it though it's made her a bit of a hard head lol BUT I think without that in her she would not be where she is today. The second oldest has ADHD and he keeps things interesting I must say though he will give you the shirt off his back if he thinks it will help you or make you happy. The other 12 year old is as smart as a whip and of course is set on she knows more than we do. Last but not least is the 9 yr old he is still struggling to grow up but will do whatever he can to help out.
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 16
- Not yet rated
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Or What Or What
- From: 1969_Corona
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Description:
Too many people out there think that animals don't feel anything, and so it's okay to kill them. Some of these people get it eventually that animals do feel pain and need a place to live and food to eat. Other people don't get it, and they get angry with me for defending wildlife. They call me a liberal tree-hugger. I really don't understand what's wrong with wanting there to be some wildlife protection as opposed to this mania for building things on any plot of grass. It makes me sick.
Some of the idiots who don't get it include OK43 (home of the "Ugly Endangered Species" article) and KFOR, who ran a "Great State" piece a few years ago about the annual spring rattlesnake hunt. I called KFOR to complain about that disgusting video, only to get yelled at by the jerk who answered the phone that rattlesnakes are dangerous and deserve to be killed. I bet that woman never encountered a rattlesnake in all her miserable life. Rattlesnakes are shy by nature, and only bite if you bother them. I lived in an area loaded with rattlesnakes, as I said, and never even saw one, let alone got bitten by one. I'd like to see the statistics on how many people actually get bitten and/or die of rattlesnake bites.
I think that the annual rattlesnake hunt is a horrible, insane, and primitive act by people who don't have much in the way of brains. The worst part of this "hunt" is that they find the snakes when they are just awakening from hibernation, round them up and beat them to death. What possible motive could any rational person have to perform such a sick, disgusting act? None whatever. These are not rational people. They are uneducated, mean, redneck sadists with limp little penises who probably beat up their wives and children when there aren't any rattlesnakes, dogs, cats, or other beings available.
Snakes don't have very good vision anyway...they can only see what's moving, and when snakes come out of hibernation, all they want to do is get a nice rodent for breakfast, find a sunny spot, and go to sleep. They DO NOT come after people. People do not taste good to a snake.
"Is this a great state or what?" yelps Galen Culver.
I always say, "Or what."
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 16
- Not yet rated
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Another day Another day
- From: ScottBaird
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Description:
So here is what I do for a living
I am an HTS,that stands for habilitation Training Specialist,I help the developmetally Disabled integrate into the community,this is the most under appreciated and lowest paying job in existence I make just above minimum wage with the hope of never getting a raise,I have been doing this for 5 years and am coming to the penicle of my career.
My job is to work myself out of a job by successfully integrating people into the community by teaching them independant living,a goal I have achieved twice so far but one guy I have been working with deligently for 5 years is now on the verge of going to a group home in the city and nolonger needing my services,this hurts.
with this perticular guy I have been to the depths of hell with and back again,I am going to hate seeing him go and wish there was something I could do to prevent him going but it is for the greater good that I let him go.
over the years this guy has become family to me.
when I first came on this individual was incoherant and unable to even communicate,I started studying on how to reach him and like Anne Sullivan with Helen Keller I ran into combative combativeness from the client,roadblocks from the Guardian as well as neglegence from my agency but I percivierd and now he and I go out regularly,he manages his finances to a point and lives by himself but because of the amount of incident reports I have filed over the years the powers that be detemined he could not manage his own life or make descisions for himself and fast tracked him into the group home system,friday ,that's tomorrow ,he goes for a trial run over the weekend.
if he does in fact decide that this is where he wants to be I will never see him again.when I say decide for himself I mean that most likely he will be manipulated by his guardian to go into the program,this will be a step backwards for him and all the work ,blood and tears will be for nothing.
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 16
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Shawnee sword fighting Shawnee sword fighting
- From: ScottBaird
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Description:
So about 5 months ago I decided I needed someting new and saw this add at the library for a sword fighting group that meets at Kidsspace park on sundays,hmm that is something I havent done before.Pushing 40 I don't know if I am even in shape enough to do this but I went anyways.
5 months later i am thouroughly addicted to this sport and have many tales of great sportsmanship,drama and intrigue hopefully as I last on here these will get out.
so I will start with the unfortunate tale of Sage(paul)
Sage joined our group a few months ago to develop a social life,sage came out one day that he was a recovering alcoholic,which I admired him for more than his fighting ability don't take me wrong Sage is a good fighter but has some short comings as we all do buit anyways.
we held a tournament around 3 weeks ago and during free for all combat paul took a bad fall as the field was muddy,we stripped his armor off and I,being in health care and the only medic,checked him out.Nothing felt broken but as a precaution I had him sent to the ER,the docs said he had a sprain only and completely missed the impact fracture on his shoulder and right arm.
this past Sunday during practice Sage/Paul was attempting to take me out with a javelin and upon throwing his weapon he completed the fracture and broke his arm.I was in the middle of a heated 2 on 1 duel,2 versus me and heard someone call my name and told me to die fast,taking this as the universal call for someone needs medical attention I dropped my weapons and ran over to the pavillion we take over every Sunday and saw Sage/Paul on the ground with a coupel of our fighters hurridly stripping his leather armor off with knives,this isn't good if they have to cut you out of your armor.
I checked him over and felt the break,not wanting to raise alarm I told everyone to relax and it was just a torn legament but I knew it was bad.I took what was left of Pauls armor and fashioned it into a splint to imobilize his arm and had some of the girls take him off the combat field and to the hospital.
I went to visit Paul at the ER a few hours later where he was just being released.Paul showed me his Xrays and sure enough it was a bad break,he is out indeffenitly.I felt bad for him because he loves this sport and also for our team as we may have lost a good member.
see us in action at midgarshawnee.webs.com
poor Sage on his wayy to the hospital - Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 13
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RE: Ugly endangered species y RE: Ugly endangered species you might want to see extinct
- From: 1969_Corona
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Description:
Someone who evidently forgot to include his or her name actually wrote an article on this site claiming there are endangered species that he or she wants to become extinct because they are, in the writer's mind, "ugly."
WHY??? So you can build another shopping mall where the creatures used to live?
To the retarded creep who wrote that article, you are an ASSHOLE. OK43 may bleep me, but that's what you are. You're a big, disgusting asshole, and I hope that you become extinct soon, and that somebody paves over your house while your ugly family is still living in it.
See, I don't think any of those creatures are ugly. In fact, they're beautiful. They probably think we're ugly, and they're right. Human beings want to kill every animal that gets in their way. Human beings ought to be extinct. I include myself, in case you were thinking I'm a hypocrite. Well, no, I'm not.
You want to see "ugly"? Go to Wal-Mart or McDonald's sometime and take a look at the 400-lb. customers. I've included a photo of one of them here (see thumbnail above this post).
Now, that's ugly.
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 18
- Not yet rated
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Let's Exterminate Hunters Let's Exterminate Hunters
- From: 1969_Corona
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Description:
Recently I heard about some guy who wants to change the state's gun laws so he can go hunting with a silencer on his rifle without disturbing the neighbors.
Yeah. Riiiight. Probably hunting for his ex-wife. I can just hear the jerk trying to explain. "But, Officer! I thought it was a deer over there. I didn't know it was my ex-wife! Look at the rack on her!"
Why do people hunt, anyway? It's home invasion of animals. You're going into a deer or a bear's home and blowing him away. I read in the local newspaper a story about a teenager who was thrilled because he killed a very large bear. The guy fired, injuring the bear, who--understandably--ran away. The idiot followed the bear into the woods and found him sitting licking his wounds.
Whereupon the little creep proceeded to shoot the bear some 44 times, eventually killing him.
That isn't sport. It's insanity. When the cops catch a murderer who has shot other people multiple times, there is great public outrage. The state locks him up and put a needle in his arm.
But if they hear about the same guy doing it to a bear instead, everyone thinks it's fine.
I will never, as long as I live, understand that kind of rationale. Every time I think of how much that poor bear must have hurt and cried every time another bullet entered his body, I want to throw up--and then I want to find that psycho hunter and cut off his testicles without anesthesia. See how much he likes being in pain.
If you hunt, you are no better than a crackhead who rams his way into your home and blasts your head off. Would you enjoy that? Would your wife and kids like that? Of course not. So why the hell would you do it to another living being? Animals have nerve endings, too.
It's bad enough that there are strip malls and ugly housing developments all over the place, forcing animals to cross the highway and get run over trying to find new homes. Those who make it occasionally come into my back yard. I welcome them, feed them, and offer what shelter I can, but, let's face it: suburban Oklahoma is not the same as having your own forest, your own trees to nest in, or your own quiet burrow to sleep in.
Leave what's left of Oklahoma's wildlife alone. Look, but don't shoot. And stop paving it over.
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 15
- Not yet rated
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597 listed here 597 listed here
- From: tat2tim2000
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Description:
597people listed here where are all you at?
lets get something started?
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 12
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Pet Steps Pet Steps
- From: shawnpata
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Description:
Yesterday I build some steps for my dogs so they could get in & out of bed without waking me up! They are about 12" wide and 30" tall.
- Blog post
- 8 months ago
- Views: 12
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Rise & Shine Screen Saver Rise & Shine Screen Saver
- From: shawnpata
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Description:
Check out this Screen Saver I made its way awesome!
- Blog post
- 9 months ago
- Views: 41